The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the Race
again, and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered the pastor

not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the pastor to get rid
of the donkey..

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
nearby convent..

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the nun to buy back the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE...

The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is .. . .

being concerned about public opinion can
bring you much grief and misery even shorten your life..

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

16 Weeks

Pip is approximately the size of an avocado this week. That's pretty big! There is not too much to report. I hope to feel him or her move in the next couple of weeks. My next doctor's appointment is Monday, and we should find out the sex a couple of weeks after that. Then Pip can be a him or her.

Pip is excited to go on his first beach trip in a little over a week, but not quite as excited as I am!

I suppose my biggest concern at the moment is Swine flu. The drugs that treat it are all Category C (This means that no clinical studies have been done to determine whether they're safe for pregnant women. Moms-to-be have taken oseltamivir and zanamivir to prevent or treat flu in the past, before swine flu came along, and no bad effects were reported for them or their babies. But because the effects have not been studied, the CDC says, "Oseltamivir or zanamivir should be used during pregnancy only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the embryo or fetus."). Swine flu made its way into Georgia today. It's kind of scary to watch its effects on the country and to watch how quickly it is spreading. For more info, go to this article on babycenter.

Saturday with the Corns

Yesterday, we were up and out of the house pretty early (on a Saturday for us). We went out to Hiram to watch Eli play t-ball. What a fun time we had. It's such a blast watching the kids play...some are pretty into the game, some just sit on the field during defense, some run to the pitcher's mound rather than 1st base. It was a hoot. Eli was a great hitter!

After the game, we just spent the rest of Saturday lounging at the Corns. The boys watched the Braves game, the race and the first round on the draft. Nikki and I ventured to Sam's giving me an opportunity to check it out. I caught a nap. Really, it was a relaxing day that we ended by grilling some Joiner beef.

We were able to take Jasmine with us, and she had a great time in the yard. Eli came out and played fetch with me and Jasmine, and she had a blast. She was a good listener and would even sit on Eli's command. It was fun to watch. She really gets worn out around kids. She just can't relax when they are around. Boy is she in for a world of change when Pip comes. :)

Maternity Shopping & 15 Weeks

So, this week I could barely wear my pants to work. I had to wear them unbuttoned (which made me feel slightly trashy). Unfortunately, with the way most of pants are made, I could not do some type of rubberbanding them together. I did try paperclipping them one day though. During this pregnancy, I have gone to a number of stores shopping for maternity clothes. What I have found in each, is many, many clothes all loaded into a tiny space. There are no racks sorted by shirt, pants or dress. It's like shopping at TJ Max, except I'm doing it Old Navy, Macy's and JC Penney. Each time the maternity section is hidden...often in the children's section. It's been so frustrating. Fortunately, I figured out what size I wear at Old Navy, and I was able to order some dresses from there.

Today I am 15 weeks pregnant. In another week if I'm really atuned to my body, I should be able to feel Pip move and do whatever acrobatics are going on in the womb. I'm really looking forward to it. Although, it will be the most fun when Jared can feel the moving too.

I am over my sinus infection and sweet air has never smelled so sweet!

14 Weeks and A Minor Meltdown

So, today I am 14 weeks...officially done with my first trimester! I can't say that I have a lot to report about this week. I felt pretty good (other than this crazy cold that I can't shake). I had a bit of a meltdown today at the thought of some stranger taking care of our baby while I work. I am so terrified that we won't make the right decision. I'm sure things will work out and we'll make the right decision. That didn't stop me from shedding some tears thinking about it today. Ideally, we're looking for someone that can care for Pip on the days that Jared works only. It would be great not to pay for an entire week of childcare when we don't exactly need it. If you have any suggestions, please share! (Mom, you can not move in with us and take care of Pip...don't even suggest it! xoxo)

This morning, I did notice that I am starting to show a little. No matter how hard I suck my tummy in, there is still a somewhat prominent pudge left. It's not all that noticeable if you're not looking for it though. I ran to the bedroom to show Jared the view from my side and from the front. I know that he loved waking up to that. :)

A Weekend in Eastman

It's been a very long while since I spent an entire weekend at home. Often, with Jared's schedule, we stay only one night and then head back home. This time we went down for Mom's birthday party on Friday and stayed through the Benev0lence Easter service Sunday afternoon.

This was a big birthday for my mom. She is fifty this year! Woo-hoo! Her family threw her a surprise party at my aunt Sophia's house. There was a smorgasbord of food, cake and of course presents. There was even a quiz to see how well you really knew my mom. Mom had a great time. Following the party, we stopped by to see her new office. How snazzy is it that my mom has her own business?!? :)

Saturday, we met my dad for breakfast at the Eastman Huddle House. It's always good to catch up over a breakfast patty melt. :) Following breakfast, we headed over to my aunt Robin's to lay by her pool. We have a beach trip in May and figured that we should start working on our tan. 45 minutes later, I was fried, but I just didn't know it yet. Both of us turned out a little pink, but of course, I won the pink award as I often do with my fair skin. I hope our darling little Pip ends up with his/her Daddy's skin. We went back to my mom's house and napped, then headed back to Robin's and played a little Wii with Eli.

Sunday we went to a tiny little, old church named Benevolence. It's been a family church for years. There is a picture on the wall of a covered wagon on it's way there. :) Each year at Easter, there is a service that starts at 2 p.m. with an egg hunt and food that follows. It's almost like a big family reunion. This year Granny Pearl, my great grandmother, was able to make it. She's 98, and it's always a treat to see her at a family event. Eli and Atticus had fun hunting eggs (although Atticus had more fun tossing them out of his basket and back onto the ground).

Following the egg hunt, we headed home. It was great to be back in the comfort of our cozy condo. Jasmine was thrilled to have her whole pack back on the couch with her.

13 Weeks Today!

Yay for the end of my first trimester! Only two more to go now.

Pictures of Pip

Due October 15th!

I'm back baby...with a baby!

So, if you don't know yet, I'm pregnant! For the last three months, I have been consumed in my pregnancy. Until we were certain it was viable, we did not want to announce to every Tom, Dick and Harry via the world wide web. I am done with my first trimester this coming Thursday. One down, two to go. We lovingly refer to our baby as Pip which stands for (thanks, Mom) Purinton in Production.

I first felt my pregnancy the night I went to sips and strokes (the painting entertainment) with my mom, Nikki and Julie. That day I was feeling a little nauseous. We had a pregnancy test at home because we already had our suspicions. Jared was working that Saturday, so I wanted to wait until Sunday to take the test and share the result with him. So, Sunday I pop awake at 7:00 a.m. and can't go back to sleep. Jared usually arrives home b/t 7:20 and 7:30. I wait and wait. Then, around 7:15, I decide to take the test thinking, "My husband will be home any minute...almost at the same time I get the result." Boy was I mistaken, there was no doubting the result within seconds! 7:20 comes and goes. 7:30 comes and goes. Around 7:35, I call my husband to see where he is, and he's hanging out with the boys at the station thinking I would be sleeping in during his absence. I couldn't help myself, I spilled the beans and told him we were pregnant by telephone at which time he rushed home! That day I told my mom (she was staying with us) and Nikki.

This pregnancy certainly has brought out some wildly unpredictable emotions in me. Just ask my husband. I have cried during the movie I am Sam, curing ASPCA commercials (damn that Sarah McLachlan and those sad, sad animals), during Susan G. Komen spots on the radio, each week while watching the biggest loser, and when Jared picked up the wrong Orange Juice from the store. I even cried once when I saw a 99X sticker and realized I could no longer listen to my favorite radio station.

Up until last week, I had suffered from all day sickness (what some people refer to as morning sickness which is a total misnomer!) and extreme exhaustion. Who knew all of the crazy things that happen to your body when you're pregnant? I knew of none of these things until they started to happen to me. For instance, pregnant women develop a superhero sense of smell. With all of my windows rolled up in the car, I could smell a cigarette from two cars in front of me. On a trip to Jared's parents' house, I couldn't stand the smell of my darling dog in the car. Who knew? Who also knew that you have to pee every few mintues? I thought that happened late in pregnancy when the baby is sitting on your bladder, but oh no, it starts at day 1! Who also knew that you can go a week without doing that other unspoken bathroom action? I've never had so much fiber in my life!

All in all, this, so far, has been a pretty amazing experience. The havoc that a baby wreaks on your body is nothing compared to the thought of actually creating human life. My body is making a baby right now, literally, and that's truly amazing. I feel fortunate also to have the support of a VERY awesome husband. While he might occassionally fuss and groan when I ask for help, he never fails to lend a hand....and as Nikki stated, he shouldn't because my "uterus is a greenhouse for" his genes. What a lucky lady I am!